I had to share this with my fellow readers. Being a successful black woman in todays society has not been the easiest at all times. My whole career is based on helping women. All of the women that I have come in contact with, has not made this journey pleasant. When I first started I thought that I would do hair and people would love it. I found out that some of the women who would get their hair done with me found pleasure in putting me through the mill. It took me years to realize that it was not the hair that they did not like, but the ugly reflection of their spirit that they saw in the mirror. My saying is that I can help beautify the outer layer, but the inner layer is out of my department.
The women that I worked with gave me the blues because of the hair choice that I made. I worked in a salon with women who wore relaxer. I was the only natural. During that time I feel that me being the new kid on the block, should have motivated those ladies to help me and show me the ropes. They should have made me feel welcomed and they did not. Looking back on that stressful time I can say that these women had low self esteem about themselves and saw me as a theat. Now these women had been in the business for 15 plus years to my few months. So why were they mean to me. Obviously they saw something in me that I did not even see. They knew that I had the drive to make it through this cruel field. Its funny that most of those women who put me through that are not even currently doing hair. Our paths sometimes cross from time to time and I will speak and hold my head up high. It brings me joy to show them that there mean treatment did not stop me and that I actually became stronger. The were certainly my teachers.
It took me 7 salons to realize that I had no support in this field. I knew that if I was to be successful that I had to be an independent woman who could stand on her own.
I feel that the first people who should have supported me should have been the women who knew me before my success. My career and clientele is full of strangers. Women who I have to convince of my talent. That in my opinion is not right, however it has made me stronger.
I feel that we as women are so hard on each other for no reason. I myself have no problem supporting my fellow women who strive to be successful. It is not easy to be a woman who is trying to make her own path. The hardest thing about it is having another woman put me down based on my looks or weight or skill level. Please don't think for one minute that others don't see the mean ways that we treat each other.
Stop owning the term "BITCH." Unfortunately we as women are disrespecting each other and hating on one another. We need to uplift each other at all times. We need to bond and respect our differences as well as our similarities. Know that we all have our time to shine. Think of how you would like to be treated before a harsh word comes out of your mouth. I have been on both sides of the spectrum and now that I am older I have been more conscious of how I speak about people and to people.
Next time you see a woman who is trying to do her thing professionally support that sister. Just because her path may be different than yours, doesn't give you the right to put her down or discourage her.
I have learned that many women with low self esteem find themselves being on the side of sharing low self esteem with others. Learn from the confidence of others instead of putting it down. In this life we must be confident in our own beauty.
The words that comes out of our mouths really can help or hinder someone. Please choose to show the light that we all have to help someone along the way. A kind word goes far.